A work in progress..

My mind constantly wonders with so many thoughts, ideas, and possibilities, it can sometimes get me in trouble. Some like to say that I think too much, over analyze things.. I Like to blast my music loud, so loud that i feel the base in my soul; allowing me to feel connected to the words being sung to the beat that may share my similar emotions.. I love to dance in the mirror, sometimes as a ballerina or as a video chic. I usually groove to the beat and let the music take control over me... my radio gives me solace, inner peace, its my time to rock out and gather myself again.. almost like my fantasy world.. my personal winter wonderland... I love to eat weird foods. pickles, olives, and cheese..lol.. and lets not forget my cravings for spicy shrimp tempura sushi.. I almost put hot sauce on everything, not because i am ghetto, but because I love the taste of spicy food. Oh and lets not forget, my love for Push Pops and Gummies (non sour). 

I like to refer to myself as Bee Lat, my alter ego, she is everything I will become, I am, and dream to be. She has this imagination, motivation, sassiness, elegance, sexiness, brilliance, beauty, confidence like no other... She does not give a damn about those around her, just about becoming the best she can be.. She has self-control, knows what to do when to do it.. gives the benefit of the doubt to people, all the things that Brittany does not do..lol

Cause Brittany, has a chip on her shoulder at times, she yells, assumes, fights, curses u out, and her mouth is OD ridiculous. She is a good person over all, but those who do not her hardly ever get a chance to see both sides.. they just run with those things above and say that thats me as a total person. Only those that are close to  me indulge in my fun, loving, happy side..lol.. This side is more emotional, therefore, the things that have happened throughout lives course has taken a toll.. 

Ultimately, I love to cook, and try new recipes.. dress with my own unique style.. I love heels.. being a girly girl..lol.. prissiness is my MO.. I wear PINK and Purple All the time..lol.. My Fav. color is Torqouise (sadly I can not spell it)... I dream of finding true love one day.. being in love..hahaha,.. But now my goal is trying to have my own life before I am sharing my life with someone else..  I absolutely hate FAKE ppl..lol.. they really bother me because I am so bold and blunt.. So i do not have time for the bullshit.. 

I am now choosey of the ppl that I allow in my life.. I only have positive, progressing people, y??? cause I am a work in progress my damn self!!!!

NEGATIVE ENERGY

ITS REAALL WIERD TO ME...I SEEM TO ATTRACT THE MOST NEGATIVE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. I DO NOT KNOW IF IT IS ME OR AM I A MAGNET FOR NEGATIVE ENERGY!!! I HAVE NO GOOD LUCK WITH MEN, I SEEM TO ATTRACT ALL ASSHOLES. I AM TRYING TO DO SELF-EVALUATING, BUT THIS TIME I REALIZE ITS NOT ALL THE WAY ME. I DO NOT WANT TO SETTLE FOR BEING THE FRIEND, JUST THE FRIEND. I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE MYSELF TO SOMEONE AND THEY NOT GIVE ME SHIT. I GIVE SO MUCH OF MYSELF, AND AT THE END I RECEIVE NOTHING. IT HURTS ME SO BAD THAT I KEEP HAVING PEOPLE ENTER MY LIFE THAT ARE COMPLETELY SELFISH AND NO GOOD FOR ME. I DO NOT THINK I AM HARD TO PLEASE, I AM A GOOD PERSON, BUT I DO KNOW I REFUSE TO GET LESS THAN THE BEST. MEN SEEM TO THINK I AM WRONG FOR THAT. I HATE GETTING THE RUN AROUND, NOT A PRIORITY, AND NOT THE SIGNIFICANT. SHIT, I AM TIRED!!! BEYOND FED UP, I HAVE BEEN SCORNED AND HURT BY PEOPLE SO BAD THAT I REALLY WISH I DID NOT LIVE IN THIS WORLD FULL OF DECEITFUL PEOPLE. I KNOW THERE ARE GOOD PEOPLE OUT THERE, BUT EMPRESS SEEMS TO NEVER SEEMS TO FIND THEM. I FIND PEOPLE THAT HAVE A LOT OF NEGATIVE ENERGY, THAT ARE SO FULL OF THEMSELVES THAT THEY CANNOT APPRECIATE MY BEAUTY, MY ESSENCE!! I AM SO CHANGING AND GROWING RIGHT NOW, ITS UNBELIEVABLE. I AM GETTING STRONGER BY THE DAY, AND I LOVE IT. HOWEVER, THIS ROAD IS A LITTLE LONELY NOW. ISOLATED!!! I GUESS I AM FINDING MYSELF, LEARNING MORE ABOUT ME, BUT I DID NOT KNOW WHEN I GOT HERE IT WOULD FEEL LIKE THIS. MAYBE THATS Y I AM SO FRUSTRATED. I JUST WANT TO BE ME, AND PEOPLE LOVE ME FOR ME!! I AM WHO I AM, AND I CAN NOT CHANGE THAT. I WOULD NOT CHANGE IT FOR THE WORLD. BUT I DO WANT TO BE WORTH IT TO SOMEONE. BUT I GUESS WHAT DOES NOT KILL ME WILL MAKE ME STRONGER. ONLY IF I COULD SEE WHAT THIS IS PREPARING ME, ONLY IF I KNEW THE SIGNIFICANCE MAYBE I WOULD BE A LITTLE MORE AT PEACE. I TRY TO BE LOYAL, LOVING, RIDE OR DIE CHIC, ETC. BUT ITS NOT ENOUGH. THEN I FIND MYSELF COMPROMISING ME BY TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT ME, LOVE ME, AND APPRECIATE ME. IF THEY CANNOT GET IT RIGHT, THAN I SHOULD KEEP IT MOVING, BUT SOMETIMES I WISH THEY WOULD JUST GET IT TOGETHER. I KNOW NO ONE IS PERFECT BUT I SEEM TO GET THE REAL MESSED UP ONES. ALL THE MESSED UP ONES, LITERALLY!!!